Broken Dreams
by Orasa
Summary: Set after the end of the movie. Basically, an SOC. Songfic.


((Well, this is my first piece of "Phanfiction" ... first time I've sat down and written anything seriously in a long time ...

This just kind of ... came to me as I listened to the song.

Hope you like.))

It's been two days since the fire. The one that I started ... dropping that chandelier.

And I let her go. I let him have her.

I'm still not sure why I did ... I loved her ... still love her. But she is gone now.

She's not coming back.

And I am alone.

As it has always been.

I'm walking ... I'm not sure where I am, underground, above? It's dark either place ... I suppose it's night.

I glance up, and see small points of light overhead ... stars. Ah. I'm outside, then. Wandering the streets.

_I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known_

_Don't know where it goes_

_But it's only me and I walk alone_-

There's no one else around ... it must be late, everyone is abed. The streets are quiet, the buildings looming overhead, hunched over me like gargoyles.

There used to be gargoyles on the roof of the Opera House ... are they still there? Or did they burn?

I don't even know how much my fire destroyed. Of the Opera House, I mean. I know what it destroyed in me. My recklessness brought the crowds ...

And my dreams, my music, my Angel ... all gone.

_I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams_

_Where the city sleeps and I'm the only one_

_And I walk alone_-

It's cold. I have my cloak ... but don't bother to wrap it around me more tightly. It doesn't matter now.

Nothing really does. I can't remember how long it's been since I've eaten.

I can drink at any public fountain ... water is not a problem. But when I left my home underground ... I left my store of cash there. I was not thinking clearly at the time. Can you blame me?

I look up again ... the stars remind me of the diamonds in her hair when she sang. When she was the star, that first time.

I wonder idly where she is ... with her lover, most likely. With him.

From the corner of my eye, I seem to see something as a sudden wind whips my cloak around me. I turn, startled ... only to see my own shadow following me. I stare, wide-eyed for a moment, and then laugh bitterly. And move on, walking ... just walking.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

_Til then, I walk alone_-

But a few minutes later ... there is movement again. This time, there is no wind. I whip around, staring into an alleyway. Something scuttles along the ground, sniffing. A rat.

My eyes narrow ... and I dart toward it, grabbing at it. I manage to hold on for a moment before it's squirming and claws help it to escape me. Just like she escaped me. But I let her go.

Suddenly, I blink. What was I planning to do with the rat? Eat it? I stand, slowly ... and shake my head. No. I will not become an animal.

_I'm walkin' down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind_

_On the boderline of the edge_

_And where I walk alone_-

I may die from lack of food ... but I will not become something less than human.

At this thought, I pause ... and laugh again. There's more of an edge to it now ... I sound almost mad.

Less than human. A monster. Exactly what I've been labeled as all my life.

Perhaps I should just give in.

_Read between the lines, what's fucked up and everything's all right_

_Check my vital signs and know I'm still alive_

_And I walk alone_-

Become what I have always been told that I already am.

I reach up to my face ... fingers running along the smoothness of the mask there. I hook a finger under the edge ... begin to pull ... then stop.

I lower my hand slowly ... staring at it.

Then sigh ... and let it drop to my side. I don't really need the mask now ... there's no one to see me. But it's become habit to wear it.

And what if someone does happen to look out their window in the dark of night? They must not see me.

Although I half wish that someone would. What would they think? Would they see a ghost? A monster? Perhaps ... a man?

I don't know.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

_Til then, I walk alone_-

It's getting colder ... perhaps it will snow.

I glance down, skirt a patch of ice on the cobblestones. Around the next corner, there's an old poster tacked to a signboard. A poster for Don Juan Triumphant.

I walk to it ... put a hand over the face of Don Juan ... and stare at the rendering of her.

It doesn't look exactly like her ... but it's close enough.

_I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams_

_Where the city sleeps and I'm the only one_

_And I walk a-_ -

"Christine ..." I whisper, interrupting the thoughts whirling through my head.

For a moment, my mind stills ... and I see her standing before me on the street. I reach toward her ... but I know she's not really there.

I close my eyes, briefly, and when I open them, she is gone. The only thing there is, once again, my own shadow ... thrown on the wall by the light of a guttering lamp. Wavering ... flickering.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

_Til then, I walk alone_-

Then ... as I stare ... the lamp goes out. And darkness covers me once more.


End file.
